How to Become the Most Popular Person in the Office

Being likeable isn’t just good for making friends.

People who are well regarded are more likely to be promoted, more likely to create a network which can be leveraged for business purposes and are more likely to develop a ‘winning’ attitude in all that they do, leading to well-rounded results.

What managers don’t often realise is that well-liked people are not just a good to have; they are a must have. I often argue that we should ascribe an economic value to charisma, given that it is so influential to so many areas of business.

But the question remains, how do I get people to like me?

Many people answer this question in different ways.

They talk about dressing well.

They stress the importance of manners and courtesy.

But in most circumstances, likeability is extremely hard to quantify; people just simple ARE liked or disliked.

I have the answer.

As much as hiring likeable people is important to me, they are a dime a dozen. That’s why I MAKE people likeable.

Impossible you might say, but I have a simple formula.

Building rapport in this day and age is extremely labored and artificial. With Linkedin, Twitter and other data sources providing a range of ways to unveil a person’s identity – attempting to genuinely connect with someone is becoming increasingly difficult.

How many of us can recall countless emails like this which do a terrible job at trying to personalize to our background and interests,

“Hi Dailius,

Before I start my message, I saw you are currently based in San Francisco. How do you like the weather there? Cold I assume…”

When I train people – I call this explicitly citing an interest. This is a dated technique which relies on artificially stating something you have researched to actively create a relationship. This is non-strategic and ultimately insincere, thus it is ineffective.

Instead – the 1 technique which will reform the way you talk and communicate with people is what I called ‘creating an inferred interest.’

Take what you have researched or think you have in common and state this in a way which lets the person you are talking to make their own connection as to how this relates to their interests. I call this ‘crossing the chasm.’ Taking the above example – let’s use the fact we know that the person lives in San Francisco to create a genuine story arc that provokes a response,

“Hi Dailius ,

Busy times here. I just got back from a business trip to the East Coast but miss my trips to the West – Seattle, SF, San Diego – all amongst the best cities. Whilst I was away I thought of you and wanted to send a message containing…”

In this example we open an opportunity for the prospect to make the connection and reply back based on the information relating to their circumstances, making the engagement seem more natural; akin to a regular conversation.

“Really, I actually live in SF. Where were you staying? Around Union Square? Sure lets connect or do a WebEx.”

Some more common examples include:

“I see that you play soccer isn’t that fantastic!”

Transforms into, “I like to keep fit, in fact I do yoga, tennis and play a bit of soccer with friends.”

“I see you went to Harvard University!”

Becomes, “I studied at University of Sydney – but I’m thinking of doing more study at Harvard, Yale or Princeton – still not sure.”

Thus by creating an inferred interest rather than an explicit interest you can conduct yourself in a way which creates consistent opportunities for people to relate to you.

To some audiences I share this as swapping a statement with a story; the content of which actively promotes a positive response from the person you are talking to.

I would love to hear your comments below and see what works for you!

Originally posted on WolfofYorkStreet.com

 

About The Author

Dailius Wilson

Dailius Wilson is the 24 year old founder of WolfofYorkStreet.com – helping the world's top SaaS companies to optimise their sales and marketing efforts. Dailius is currently a Director at TrustRadius and a digital blogger at increasemyonlinebusiness.com. Dailius was named as one of the Top 30 Entrepreneurs in Australia for 2015 by Anthill Online and was ranked in the Top 100 SEO Experts in the World. Dailius has also been a guest on the Ellen Degeneres Show and has over 10,000,000 views on Youtube